Welcome to
Dan Apus Monoceros
Kink Coaching with Dan:
Holistic, empathetic, professional
I am your experienced kink coach with a holistic approach that helps you discover your desires, boundaries, and potential. With over a decade of experience supporting people in alternative lifestyles and relationships, I offer you a confidential, competent, and discreet environment to better understand and develop yourself.
What is Kink Coaching?
Kink coaching is a specialized form of coaching that helps you explore your individual needs and preferences in the area of personal sexuality and identity. It offers you a safe space to better understand yourself, embrace your preferences, and live authentically – free from shame or societal expectations.
Whether you feel stuck, want to develop further, want to try something new with your partner, or have a specific question; a coach is there for you to help you move forward!
Coaching is like “help for self-help”, except that here you have a possible future self by your side, who gives you tips and suggestions on how you could improve, what you could do, what you could expect and how to avoid the biggest mistakes.
In doing so, I do not consider your preferences and your situation in isolation, but within an interconnected system that influences everything and thus occupies, hinders, or motivates you.
I support you in moving forward, achieving your goals, overcoming obstacles, clarifying questions, and continuing to develop personally.
What does "kink" actually mean?
Kink means twisted or deviant and refers to unusual inclinations, usually (but not necessarily) with an identity-forming or sexual dimension. It goes beyond the norm and breaks with standards and conventions. It creates space for new self-discovery and enables the development of one's own identity.
Kink coaching is like "figuring everything out yourself," only...
... in a protected space,
...where mistakes can be made,
... with instructions, tips and cheat book,
... where someone is there to support you,
...where you can simply ask and receive an honest answer,
...where you have time and peace to practice and prepare and
...that you can accomplish the whole thing in a fraction of the time.
What are you waiting for?
Why Kink Coaching?
Sexual self-determination and fulfillment are central components of a happy life. Here are a few examples of how kink coaching can help you:
Communicating Wishes
False beliefs, lack of information, and negative experiences prevent us from developing freely. I help resolve conflicts, discover new things, and communicate your desires, so you can realize them.
A desire for new things and development
Whether in a relationship or solo, if you want to discover something new, I help with thought-provoking impulses and systematic approaches to make targeted progress and avoid major mistakes.
Reducing Risks and Playing More Safely
Many play styles carry risks and can lead to emotional and physical harm. I inform you about risks, help prevent damage, and give you tips for safer and consensual play.
Confident Presence
Practiced handling of toys, the necessary application skills, and a few safe routines help you appear confident and secure during a session, so you can fully focus on your partner.
Shibari / Bondage Training
Shibari is a wonderful practice and enriches your kink in various ways. I offer coaching and skill training for all levels, tailored to your goals, wishes, and prior knowledge.
Specific Questions
Sometimes it's very specific questions, special situations, and simply uncomfortable feelings that need to be analyzed and resolved in order to move forward personally.
Some individuals or couples come to me simply wanting more variety in their lives. Others have specific questions and problems that we work on together. It can also be just a feeling, like pronounced restlessness, anxiety, or discomfort with something one actually enjoys. For some, this even leads to emotional outbursts such as anxiety, (self-)doubt, (sexual) loss of libido, or depressive behavior. And even physical symptoms, such as erectile dysfunction, exhaustion, or pain, are possible.
Topic Examples
Examples of (including polyamorous) couple coaching :
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How do I come out to my (vanilla) partner
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More variety in the relationship
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Making long-distance relationships happy
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Polyamorous relationships and jealousy
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Resolving conflicts and disputes
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Rebuilding trust
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Opening relationships
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Acquiring new skills together
Examples of solo coaching :
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Regulation of one's own kink
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Self-discovery and reflection
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Preparing for Coming Out
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Building basic skills and fundamentals
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Bondage experience as a means of letting go
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Further development with the professional
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Safety and technology
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Partner selection & search
How come
Coach Dan?
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To better understand one's own preferences and those of one's partner.
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To help you develop further
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To spice up the relationship
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To learn new things
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To find more suitable partners
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To play more safely and better
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To overcome personal blocks
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To build realistic expectations
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To exchange information discreetly
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To avoid errors, accidents, or problems
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And many more reasons
Selected references
Passion Messe (Hamburg)
Darklands (Antwerp)
JOYclub (Online Education)
School of Sex Therapy (USA)
Obscene (Karlsruhe)
Types of coaching
Coaching is a general term and can encompass various types. Here you will find the types of coaching I offer.
Reflection Sessions & Consultation
This is about better understanding yourself and your needs, breaking down barriers, and continuing to develop
Workshops
These are group activities where you learn new things or exchange ideas in a group of several participants.
Skill Training
This is about building concrete skills, such as in Shibari, Impact Play, Dominance, or similar topics.
Offers for professionals
These offers are specifically aimed at professionals and colleagues, such as sex workers, coaches, rope trainers or stage performers.
For Couples & Polycules
This is about you and how you move forward together, overcome conflicts, and shape your relationships.
Experiences
You want to experience things instead of just talking about them. Here you have the opportunity to try things out in a safe environment with professionals.